A tale of RAM and woe...10/01/2011 20:34


You’re currently viewing an image of the epic box this website is served from. It’s full of server joy! It serves, therefore it is.

Not only does it have an eye wateringly fast Pentium 4 (with HT technology), it also has a staggering 160gb hard disk. How I’m going to fill that up, I’ve no idea! The downside is that it only has a paltry 1gb of RAM and so I decided last week that enough was enough – I’ll treat this bad boy to an upgrade...



Sitting on my sofa with my trusty laptop, I decided not to just get up, move a couple of steps and hunt for the Shuttle’s model number. No sir. That’s the lazy man’s game. Instead I hunted around the archived version of Shuttle’s website looking for which picture matched mine in the discontinued product range. 20 minutes of hard graft later, I was confident I’d found the correct model and even knew which RAM to buy. I perused eBay and to my horror discovered that the price of 4gb was too much for my liking and so opted for 2gb instead. Now to play the waiting game...



One week on (!) and I received the RAM through the post – how exciting! After work I raced home and... actually I went shopping first. I got some bread, milk, dinner and various cleaning products. Ooooo and some tin foil (my hat is wearing out).

Clutching my bags of trinkets and treasure, I raced back to my car and drove back as fast as I could (observing all speed limits and paying due care and attention to hazards and dickheads). Now home I excitedly unlocked my front door and hurried indoors and straight to my server... actually I put my shopping away first in fear of the milk turning while I wasn’t looking. Bread in the cupboard, loo rolls in the loo, I speed through to my living room with a glint in my eye to where “The Beast" lay in waiting.

Like the excitable child I am, I ripped off the top of the chassis then decided I’d probably be best turning it off before poking my hobbity, sausage fingers around the motherboard. PC powered down I doggedly ripped the existing RAM sticks out and tossed them aside, like you might a cheap hooker.

Carefully taking the new RAM out from its plastic container, I held it up in front of my face to observe the beauty; it was magnificent. I shook myself out of the hypnotic trance and gently lowered the stick of awesome into the slot – it was just like King Arthur pulling the sword from the stone but in reverse and with RAM. Suddenly I found resistance and the RAM refused to slot in. “No problem" I said to myself, “must just have it the wrong way round". I carefully flipped the stick round, basking in the beauty as the light reflected off the holographic sticker on the front. Bastard still won’t go in. I push harder, I flip it again, I rock it back and forth in the slot, convinced I must have put it in wrong. Panic takes hold – what has thou dunst?!



Thou has been a douche and ordered the wrong RAM. As a solitary tear rolls gently down my face, I compare the new and old RAM side by side and this confirms my worst fears. Fuck! That’s £40 down the drain.

And the moral of the story kids is to be lazy and just lookup the model number of your machine on the sodding box like any old Joe might.
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